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| President Bush after receiving the news that "America Is under attack" |
In the post 9/11 world some people believe that Bush's administration did it all wrong. According to Ron Paul he believes that the Patriot Act is considered " Unpatriotic and undermines our liberty". People also believe that no matter what you do, the threat of a terrorist attack is never going to go away. Even after 9/11 there were many threats of people running around with poisonous pens like in the James Bond movies. Even now in 2015 in Boston after the Boston Marathon Bombing there were threats of another bombing going to happen around the fourth of July celebration. This Patiort Act doesn't help stop these threats so therefore it is useless and against our liberty.
Growing up in a post 9/11 world I will never know what it is like to not be under a terrorist attack threat. I was only in kindergarten when those to planes hit the towers. What I do know is that nothing extreme like 9/11 will ever happen again because of the precautions George W. Bush took to keep this Country safe. However I am not for the war in Iraq or president Bush. When it comes to the post 9/11 world I find myself on the liberal side of the patriot act and the war. America is safer to
day because of the patriot act. It allows the government to look into any suspicious activity without alarming the person they are looking at. When it comes to winning the "war on terror" I believe that as for America we look strong and we disrupted the Al-Qaeda network by killing Osama Bin Laden. But the threat of a terror attack will always be around and the "war on terror" will always be alive because Al-Qaeda is not dead.
Growing up in a post 9/11 world I will never know what it is like to not be under a terrorist attack threat. I was only in kindergarten when those to planes hit the towers. What I do know is that nothing extreme like 9/11 will ever happen again because of the precautions George W. Bush took to keep this Country safe. However I am not for the war in Iraq or president Bush. When it comes to the post 9/11 world I find myself on the liberal side of the patriot act and the war. America is safer today because of the patriot act. It allows the government to look into any suspicious activity without alarming the person they are looking at. When it comes to winning the "war on terror" I believe that as for America we look strong and we disrupted the Al-Qaeda network by killing Osama Bin Laden. But the threat of a terror attack will always be around and the "war on terror" will always be alive because Al-Qaeda is not dead.
Kayleen,
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post. Great design. Good research. I'm just unclear about the consistency of your thesis throughout all of the paragraphs. You have more of a conservative view on the Patriot Act - believing that it protects us more than it invades our privacy. But I didn't pick up that thread (your thesis) until your conclusion. Be sure to state that (thesis) very clearly in the first paragraph, so that your reader knows where you're going.
You have a great introduction: well written and concisely summarizing the events and aftermath of 9/11. I really like how you stated the cost of the war in Afghanistan and the US casualty count. Those are excellent cold, hard facts that are undisputed information.
In your second paragraph, the opposing view, you did an excellent job of citing Ron Paul's opposition to the Patriot Act. But then this paragraph seems to fizzle out when you get personal about Boston. It loses its focus.
You come back to it in the conclusion paragraph, but what facts support your support for the Patriot Act - besides stating that we've not had another "9/11 style" attack? See if you could find attacks-examples that were foiled by good intelligence gathering. See if you could find an article that also has the same thesis statement - and what facts they are using to support the Patriot Act.
Then, your conclusion would be stronger and more believable - and less of a personal opinion.
GR: 80